Be Quiet!

An update of my symptoms…

It is late but I am having a moment of clarity about how I feel about my symptoms so I think I should try and capture it.

Be Quiet

There is nothing I can’t do. Okay I can’t unbutton buttons with my left hand lately but my right gladly fills in.  And okay I get tired too fast and from things that shouldn’t make me tired like chewing one bite of food and I don’t like being shaky which I get from everyday physical activity but what really bugs me the most is that my body won’t be quiet!  A normal body does what is asked of it within reason with nary a complaint and when you are relaxed it is usually silent.  My body is never silent.  Just laying here in bed trying to fall asleep, my legs are buzzing, my left arm has pins and needles and a jumpy feeling, my cheeks are tingling and my nose is twitching (which is like a cruel joke because unlike Samantha, nothing magically gets cleaned up as a result of my nose twitch). It is not really painful just super annoying. Sometimes I just want to tell my body to be quiet so I can go to sleep or have a conversation and not be distracted.

Other news?  The doctors have run out of tests for me for now.  I am paying off my share of the MRI’s and deductibles for visits and tests.  And I am taking Zoloft to see if anxiety plays a role in my symptoms.  Okay-I-will-play-along is how I feel.  Four weeks in and my symptoms are the same only I feel a little more motivation here and there.

Also I don’t like not knowing the cause, I hesitate to say diagnosis, because it seems so permanent, but really at this point I doubt very much a diagnosis will do much more for me than allow me to sub in a name every place I currently write or say my symptoms.

My husband wonders how I am able to tune out the loud wild voices of my kids. I need to learn to reapply this skill and be glad it is not pain I am trying to ignore.


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  1. I am praying for you right now! I think one of the most terrifying things in life is when our own bodies betray us. We all have that to a small degree as we age, but when it happens on a larger and whole unexplainable scale it is just NOT RIGHT! Please keep us posted!
    Tamara Tipton recently posted..Friday FunniesMy Profile

    • Thanks for your prayers. I really must say, I took my symptom-less body for granted. You know though, when I used to see my grandmother with glasses I felt bad for her but once I got them I found out they weren’t a big deal. I think it is how I feel about what is happening to me now. If it was someone else I would feel terrible but it is really not that bad. I think it bothers me when I am tired – but isn’t that like everything : )

  2. Ann, have you thought about or looked into alternative treatments at all? Like acupuncture or crazy diet changes? It seems so weird that the docs have no clue as to what might be going on. I’m just wondering about delving into the world beyond them. Just a thought. XO
    Artchoo recently posted..Tissue Paper Easter Egg ProjectMy Profile

    • I haven’t yet partially because I don’t know where to start and partially because I don’t know what I have. I have watched this TED talk by Dr. Terry Wahls who “cured” herself of MS with a natural diet – no processed foods, lots of veggies like kale and seaweed, no dairy, and organ meat (yik!). I have done it in bits and pieces because even if it is not MS is is still all stuff that is good for anyone but honestly I’m finding it hard : (

  3. I think Artchoo’s idea is a good one too! Acupuncture options might be better closer to Boston though. As for diet, maybe you should also keep a food diary for a week or so to see if there are any changes in symptoms in parallel to particular foods you eat.

    I am skeptical that it’s stress too. I have also read of neurological side effects from fake sugar. I’d try to eliminate all sugar substitutes if you use them, especially those in diet sodas.
    PragmaticMom recently posted..Our School’s March Madness Reading CompetitionMy Profile

    • Yes probably Boston area for acupuncture. Someone suggested it when I was trying to get pregnant and I kept putting it off because needles freak me out! Luckily I ended up getting pregnant. I will look into it.
      I eat very little sugar and no sugar substitutes (once in a LONG while I MIGHT have a Diet Coke).
      My mom wonders if it is something in my house – some sort of trigger in my environment.
      The food journal is an excellent idea. I think I will start a journal of food, symptoms, and anything else I think could be important – thanks!

    • You know- the acupuncture needles are barely discernible. I had it when I was trying to turn breech Fen around, and it’s barely noticeable. I feel like maybe if you found the right alternative practitioner, they might be able to ask different questions than traditional doctors do to probe what’s going on.

      Sorry- I get all stubborn when I want someone to do something. Ask my sister.
      Artchoo recently posted..Tissue Paper Easter Egg ProjectMy Profile

    • Not stubborn. I used to have a MD in the Boston area that also practiced alternative medicine. That was perfect for me. I am going to research it a little. I am so much more of a thinking vs feeling kind of person. Thanks Jeanette, I know you care!

  4. My prayers are with you, too.

    I imagine it’s a bit therapeutic to write about it and get some clarity about what your sensations are like. I think I would be very distracted if I had all that going on in my body!
    Elisa | blissfulE recently posted..sunsetMy Profile

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